New jokes

I don't like this new dress of yours...

- I can't put on a bottle of vodka!

- Why do blondes order such tight skirts?

- So that the legs are always together!

- Dad, I found a bandana in your closet, will you let me wear it?

- What else bandanna?

- Well, such a cool red!

(only the initiated will understand: the "red bandana" is a pioneer tie)

- Mom, why does the needle have an eye?

- So that she can hear what a person says when he sits on her.

A blouse is like a watermelon: a neckline helps to guess the contents.

What about the tailor who invented button-down trousers? He never drank beer!

Dim light bulbs aren't just for saving energy, they'll spruce up any dress and magically mask tailor's mistakes.

What used to be called a patch is now called a stylish design solution.

Outerwear covers shortcomings, lower - dignity.

Wife to husband:

- I made myself a new dress. Do you like it?

- Yes.

But you didn't even look at me!

- How could I answer something else?

Dear couturiers, designers and everyone related to fashion!

I beg you, make it fashionable to walk in socks of different colors, sizes and styles in this, next and future seasons.

Somehow a man comes to the tailor, brings fabrics, and says what he wants.

make a costume out of it. The tailor takes measurements, remeasures the cut and says that the suit is not

that's enough.

The customer goes to another tailor with the same order. tailor removes

measurements, remeasures the fabric, and asks to come back in two weeks.

After two weeks, the client comes and receives a ready-made suit. At the same time, he

notices that the tailor's little son is running around in pants made of the same fabric.

He goes indignantly to the first tailor:

- Listen, what is this supposed to mean? You said that the fabric is not enough for

suit, and another tailor made it for me from the same fabric, and even for his son

Enough for pants!

- Right, but I have twins.

A man tries on a tailored suit and cries out in horror:

- How? Did you make me three sleeves?

- Ah! Why didn't you warn me...